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Billie Philips Backstory

BeeQueen_

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Nov 19, 2019
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There is a wall in my life built by you
You opened a door that a kid shouldn’t walk through
But I’m not bitter, I’m just tired,
No use getting angry at the way that you’re wired
Ignorant trauma in one afternoon.
And I could never let you know, you’d never get it
Now I’m the one who can’t let go, don’t say it’s genetic.


Screaming. Yelling. Objects shattering as they hit the wall. Sounds that were never uncommon in the Philips household. Atleast, when both parents were home. Dad had come home finally, after another affair with another woman and Mom was unhappy about it and drinking again. Just another fight and Billie couldn’t run to her sister, Amanda, for comfort like she usually did. She laid, curled in her sister’s bed that she had left behind and pulled out her phone, sending a short text: “They’re at it again.”

Is it real? You believe you’re guiltless.
Oh I can tell you believe you’re guiltless
But I don’t think I’d feel better if I opened your eyes
I’ll carry your burden ’til the day that you die.
Is it real? You believe you’re guiltless


Tears welled in Billie’s eyes as she waited for Amanda’s response, pulling the blanket over her head, surrounding herself in her sister’s scent, attempting to trick her brain into believing her sister was still there with her, comforting her as she quietly sobbed. But, Billie found herself failing, and drew in a shaky breath as her phone buzzed with Amanda’s response, “I’m sorry. Just remember to drown it out.” Billie shook her head, but sent a short text back, telling her how much she loved her.

I’ll never know why you favour that tone
Not one shred of hope so I built up my own
But I’m not bitter, I’m just tired,
No use getting angry at the way that you’re wired
A dark politician will end up alone.
And I could never let you know, you’d never get it
And now I’m the one who can’t let go, don’t say it’s genetic.


Billie slipped on a pair of headphones and plugged it into her phone, the loud music barely covering the sound of another bottle hitting the wall and Dad trying to yell over Mom, both trying to say things to hurt the other, before the slam of a door, signifying that Dad had left. Billie opened her texts again, reading over all the texts Amanda had sent her, remembering how she told Billie that she was leaving and going to Los Santos. Billie paused, finally slipping out from under the blanket and sat up, opening a new message to Amanda.

Is it real? You believe you’re guiltless
Oh I can tell you believe you’re guiltless
But I don’t think I’d feel better if I opened your eyes
I’ll carry your burden ’til the day that you die.
Is it real? You believe you’re guiltless.


“I can’t do it anymore. I know you said it’s dangerous, but I’m coming.”
 
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